Cancer Research Is A Growth Industry.

My Grandfather, Mother And Father Were Gifted Verbally, And My Mother Passed That Along To Me. She Always Made Sure I Was Conscious Of Language And Words.

I Noticed That All The Prayers I Used To Offer To God, And All The Prayers I Now Offer To Joe Pesci, Are Being Answered At About The Same 50% Rate. Half The Time I Get What I Want, Half The Time I Don't... Same As The Four-leaf Clover And The Horseshoe...same As The Voodoo Lady Who Tells You Your Fortune By Squeezing The Goat's Testicles, It's All The Same: 50-50. So Just Pick Your Superstition, Sit Back, Make A Wish, And Enjoy Yourself.

I Have A Suggestion That I Think Would Help Fight Serious Crime. Signs. There Are Lots Of Signs For Minor Infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off The Grass, Keep Out, And They Seem To Work Fairly Well. I Think We Should Also Have Signs For Major Crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, No Raping People, Thank You For Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's Certainly Worth A Try. I'm Convinced Watergate Would Never Have Happened If There Had Just Been A Sign In The Oval Office That Said, Malfeasance Of Office Is Strictly Against The Law, Or Thank You For Not Undermining The Constitution.

I've Been A Performer For A Long Time And I Know When People Are Laughing From Their Guts, From The Inside, And When Their Tuxedos Are Laughing.

When It Comes To God's Existence, I'm Not An Atheist And I'm Not Agnostic. I'm An Acrostic. The Whole Thing Puzzles Me.