But What Is Life If You Don't

You Love Him So Much It Feels Like You Can't Go On Without Him. You Feel Like You Might Die Without Him.

My Name Is Daniel, And This Is The First Volume Of My Life Story, Which, Hopefully, Will Be A Very Long And Distinguished One. Who Should You Read It? Very Good Question. Maybe Because This Is Your Planet, And You Have A Right To Know What's Actually Happening On It.

I Took A Bite Of Cookie And Chewed. “hmmm,” I Said, Trying Not To Spit Crumbs. “clear Vanilla Notes, Too-sweet Chocolate Chips, Distinct Flavor Of Brown Sugar. A Decent Cookie, Not Spectacular. Still, A Good-hearted Cookie, Not Pretentious.” I Turned To Fang. “what Say You?” “it’s Fine.” Some People Just Don’t Have What It Takes To Appreciate A Cookie.

Unfortunately, Every Time Someone Said “debriefing,” The Entire Flock Had One Image: Someone’s Tighty-whities Disappearing In A Flash. We Were Smothering Our Giggles, But It Was Getting Harder. Coupled With The Whole “naval This, And Naval That,” With Its Undeniable Belly-button Connotations, We Were Essentially Turning Into A Sugar-jacked, Sleep-deprived Flock Of Incoherent, Silly, Recombinant-dna Goofballs. This Was Not Going To End Well.

Jane-sweetie, We've Talked About Your Weight-" My Mother Began. I'm Only Eight Years Old," I Said. "how About I Promise To Be Anorexic Later?