Bribes And Boy Bands. That’s All You

There Are Time When Friends Have Said They Hooked Up With Someone And All It Means Is That They Had A Highly Anticipated Kissing Session. Other Times It's A Full-on All-night Sex-a-thon. Can't We Have A Universal Understanding Of The Term, Once And For All? From Now On, Let's All Agree That Hooking Up = Sex. Everything Else Is 'made Out.' And If You're Older Than Twenty-eight, Then Just Kissing Someone Doesn't Count For Crap And Is Not Even Worth Mentioning. Unless You're Mormon, In Which Case You're Going To Hell.

Your Fear That Your Parents Will Actually Kill You For Dropping Out Of College Is Something That I Think A Lot Of Children Of Immigrants Would Maybe Relate To.

For Heaven’s Sake, If You Don’t Know Someone’s Name, Just Pretend You Do. Do That Thing Everyone Else Does, Where You Vaguely Say, “nice To See You!” And Make Weak Eye Contact.

Twitter Is So Short, It's Safe. I Don't Want My Bosses To Be Like, 'hey, Your Script Is Due And We Saw You Wrote Four Blog Pages.'

You Might Also See That Some Of My Playlists Are Simply Two Songs On Repeat Fifteen Times, Like I’m A Psycho Getting Pumped Up To Murder The President.