Between Ron Paul And Rick Perry, I

Donald Trump Got The Power Of The Government Behind Him Now. He Didn't Have That Before When He Was Just A Clown. The Republican Party Is Still With Him. Including Those State Legislatures. Gerrymandering. He Has Basically Pravda In Fox News, In Breitbart, In Drudge.

Guns Aren't Just A Tool Of Last Resort. They're Awesome. That's Why People Stroke Them. And Name Them, And Take Pictures With Them. You Guys Aren't Just Firearm Enthusiasts — You're Ammosexuals. And Before You Try And Deny You Have Some Sort Of Unnatural Romantic Relationship With Your Gun, Consider This. You're Taking It Out To Dinner! Because It Completes You. Get A Room.

New Rule: If An Evangelical Tries To Use Halloween To Pimp Jesus To Kids, They Get To Egg His House. On Halloween, The President Of The American Family Association Urged His Flock To Hand Out A Christian-based Comic Book Instead Of Candy. Excuse Me, Halloween Isn't A Time To Push Your Beliefs. You Don't See Me Handing Out Pot To Kids...okay, Well Not The Little Kids.

John Kerry Made A Joke About Bush Being A Moron, And Now Bush Wants Morons To Think It Was A Joke Was About The Troops. ... Now, John Kerry Has Apologized. He Said He Made A Botched Joke And Admitted That He Has A Joking Problem. He Has Checked Into An Improv Group And Revealed That As A Child, He Was Molested By A Clown.

You Know, We Do A Lot Of Complaining Here In America. And That Itself Is Something They Can't Do In A Lot Of Other Countries.