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I Am Sorry To Have To Introduce The Subject Of Christmas. It Is An Indecent Subject; A Cruel, Gluttonous Subject; A Drunken, Disorderly Subject; A Wasteful, Disastrous Subject; A Wicked, Cadging, Lying, Filthy, Blasphemous And Demoralizing Subject. Christmas Is Forced On A Reluctant And Disgusted Nation By The Shopkeepers And The Press: On Its Own Merits It Would Wither And Shrivel In The Fiery Breath Of Universal Hatred; And Anyone Who Looked Back To It Would Be Turned Into A Pillar Of Greasy Sausages.

As 99 Per Cent Of English Authors And 100 Per Cent Of American Ones [authors] Are Just Such Imbeciles, Managers And Publishers Make A Practice Of Asking For Every Right The Author Possesses.

Capitalism Has Destroyed Our Belief In Any Effective Power But That Of Self Interest Backed By Force. But Even Capitalist Cynicism Will Admit That However Unconscionable We May Be When Our Own Interests Are Affected, We Can Be Most Indignantly Virtuous At The Expense Of Others.

Beauty Is All Very Well At First Sight; But Who Ever Looks At It When It Has Been In The House Three Days?

My Religious Convictions And Scientific Views Cannot At Present Be More Specifically Defined Than As Those Of A Believer In Creative Revolution. I Desire That No Public Monument Or Work Of Art Or Inscription Or Sermon Or Ritual Service Commemorating Me Shall Suggest That I Accepted The Tenets Peculiar To Any Established Church Or Denomination Nor Take The Form Of A Cross Or Any Other Instrument Of Torture Or Symbol Of Blood Sacrifice.