Because All Bad Little Vampires See Me

Somehow I Think Trophy Wives Wear More Makeup And Less Cutlery. But Hey, I Haven't Ever Met A Trophy Wife, Maybe I'm Wrong. Maybe They Know What I Know, That The True Way To A Man's Heart Is Six Inches Of Metal Between His Ribs.

A Little Boy Who's Discovered The Monster Under The Bed Is Actually Real, And It's Screwing Mommy.

His Eyes Widened Just A Bit, His Lips Flexed. I Realized He Was Trying Not To Laugh. I Hate It When People Find My Threats Amusing.

You Fight So Hard, So Long, To Cut Someone Out Of Your Heart, But It’s Not Always Your Heart That Betrays You.

You Will Never Lose Your Nerve. Your Life, Probably, But Never Your Nerve.