Back To School, To Prove To Dad

My Kids Don't Have A Trust Fund, They Have A Debt Fund. And When I Die, They're $4 Million In The Hole.

When I'm Around The Kids I Feel Like I Act The Most Grown-up Just Because You're Supposed To. And I Say Things, Like Every Other Day, That Remind Me Of My Own Parents.

I Wasn't A Kid Growing Up Thinking, 'one Day I'll Get An Oscar And Make A Speech.' That Wasn't On My Mind.

The Difference When You Have Kids Comes Up When Someone Wants To Meet You Out After 9:30 At Night. You Consider That Giant Sacrifice. You're Like, "do I Do This? Do I Stay Out Until 10:30 And Be Angry, All Of Tomorrow?

I Don't Like Being On A Horse. That's The Only Negative Of Doing A Western. I Like The Whole Get Up, And I Look Great In A Hat. But I Get Tense Around Horses. So, If They Could Make A Fake Horse, Then I'd Do A Western.