At Least Be A Nice Lesbian Or

Look, As My Mama Always Said, 'one Monkey Don't Stop No Show.

Sometimes I Cheat And Buy Things I Used To Make From Scratch And Just Doctor Them Up.

It's Not That Marriage Itself Is Bad; It's The People We Marry Who Give It A Bad Name.

Being A Lifetime Wife And Mother Has Afforded Me The Luxury Of Having Multiple Careers: I've Been A Teacher. A Chauffeur. A Chef. An Interior Decorator. A Landscape Architect, As Well As A Gardener. I’ve Been A Painter. A Personal Shopper. An Accountant And A Banker. I’ve Been A Beautician. Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy. A Movie Reviewer. A Nurse. A Psychologist. A Negotiator. An I Have A Ph. D In How To Pretend Like You Don’t Mind.

I Would Be Content Being A Housewife If I Could Find The Kind Of Man Who Wouldn't Treat Me Like One.