Ask Your Doctor If Getting Off Your

I Have A Problem With People Who Take The Constitution Loosely And The Bible Literally.

It Somehow Became An Article Of Faith On The Right That Obama Is The Most Extreme President In American History. Although, When They Say That, I Think What They Really Mean Is...he's Black.

People Sometimes Say How Standup Is So Hard, And I Always Tell Them That It's Hard At The Beginning.

Americans Are Finally Coming To A Point Where They're Accepting Of Religious Criticism, Is Because George Bush Is The First President Who Really Put Religion So Front-and-center. He's The Most Christ-y President We've Ever Had - And He Is, Not Uncoincidentally, The Biggest Disaster We've Ever Had. I Think Even People Who Are Religious Don't Like It Shoved Down Their Throat. I Think People Kind Of Get It On A Certain Level, That This Is An Antiscience Administration, And We're Living In A Time Where We Can't Afford To Be Antiscience - For Environmental Reasons, For Educational Reasons.

A New Biography Of Madonna Came Out Last Week, And Apparently The Biography Lists All The Men She's Slept With. The Book Is Apparently Called The Manhattan Telephone Directory.