As People Get Older, We All Know,

The Radio Comes Back Even Louder Than You Remember It.

I Didn't Feel Like Reading That Night, So I Went Downstairs And Watched A Half-hour Long Commercial That Advertised An Exercise Machine. They Kept Flashing A 1-800 Number, So I Called It. The Woman Who Picked Up The Other End Of The Phone Was Named Michelle. And I Told Michelle That I Was A Kid And Did Not Need An Exercise Machine, But I Hoped She Was Having A Good Night. That's When Michelle Hung Up On Me. And I Didn't Mind A Bit.

And She Says She Wants To Expose Me To All These Great Things. And To Tell You The Truth, I Don't Really Want To Be Exposed To All These Great Things If It Means That I'll Have To Hear Mary Elizabeth Talk About All The Great Things She Exposed Me To All The Time. I Don't Understand That. I Would Give Someone A Record So They Could Love The Record, Not So They Would Always Know That I Gave It To Them.

Deep Down...she's A Good Woman...you Should Be Proud Of Her." When I Told My Mom About This, She Just Looked Very Sad Because He Could Never Say Those Things To Her. Not Ever. Not Even When He Walked Her Down The Aisle.

Love Pats Are Soft Punches Of Encouragement That Are Admistered On The Knee, Shoulder, And Arm.