Anything You Can Do In Excess For

I've Never Met A Deadline I Couldn't Miss. I Make Sure My Editors Know This.

My Life Is Like A Lone, Forgotten Q-tip In The Second-to-last Drawer.

I'd Like To Wear My Old [cinnamon Buns] Hairstyle Again - But With White Hair. I Think That Would Be Funny.

If Talking Were Aerobic, I'd Be The Thinnest Person In The World.

As You Get Older, The Pickings Get Slimmer, But The People Don't.