And Now That I Don't Want To

Suffering Has Always Been With Us; Does It Really Matter In What Form It Comes? All That Matters Is How We Bear It And How We Fit It Into Our Lives.

How Rash To Assert That Man Shapes His Own Destiny. All He Can Do Is Determine His Inner Responses.

Before, I Always Lived In Anticipation . . . That It Was All A Preparation For Something Else, Something "greater," More "genuine." But That Feeling Has Dropped Away From Me Completely. I Live Here And Now, This Minute, This Day, To The Full, And The Life Is Worth Living.

There Are Moments When I Feel Like Giving Up Or Giving In, But I Soon Rally Again And Do My Duty As I See It: To Keep The Spark Of Life Inside Me Ablaze.

By 'coming To Terms With Life' I Mean: The Reality Of Death Has Become A Definite Part Of My Life; My Life Has, So To Speak, Been Extended By Death, By My Looking Death In The Eye And Accepting It, By Accepting Destruction As Part Of Life And No Longer Wasting My Energies On Fear Of Death Or The Refusal To Acknowledge Its Inevitability. It Sounds Paradoxical: By Excluding Death From Our Life We Cannot Live A Full Life, And By Admitting Death Into Our Life We Enlarge And Enrich It.