America Needs Obamacare Like Nancy Pelosi Needs

If You Think Of Life As Like A Big Pie, You Can Try To Hold The Whole Pie And Kill Yourself Trying To Keep It, Or You Can Slice It Up And Give Some To The People Around You, And You Still Have Plenty Left For Yourself.

President Bush Said He Was 'troubled' By Gay People Getting Married In San Francisco. He Said On Important Issues Like This The People Should Make The Decision, Not Judges. Unless Of Course We're Choosing A President, Then He Prefers Judges.

According To A New Book Coming Out By A Pulitzer Prize-winning Author, Apparently When He Was In High School, President Obama Smoked Large Amounts Of Marijuana. You Know What That Means? He Could Be Our First Green President.

Nike Actually Has A Pair Of Shoes Called Air-turbulence. Try Getting Past Airline Security Wearing Those. Might As Well Call Them Air-osama.

The Stock Market Was Down Today. Two Major Businesses Declared Bankruptcy, Consumer Spending Is At An All Time Low - In Other Words, Bush Is Back On The Job.