America Needs Obamacare Like Nancy Pelosi Needs

As You Know, There Were Lots Of Huge Marches Around The Country Yesterday To Protest The Immigration Laws. The Marches Had Quite An Impact On Businesses. Restaurants Had To Close, Construction Sites Had To Shut Down, The Yankees Had To Forfeit A Game. ... Do You Realize That Americans Are Now Doing The Jobs That Immigrants Won't Do Because They're Out Protesting?

A New Medical Study Reports That Men Who Eat Ten Pizzas A Week Are Less Likely To Develop Prostate Problems At Age 50. That's Because They Are Usually Dead By Age 40.

What's Going On With The Oakland Raiders? You Know, I Don't Want To Say The Raiders Are Bad, But You Know, Now, A Lot Of Fans Are Painting Their Faces Just So They Won't Be Recognized.

Have You Noticed How The Republicans And Democrats Try To Copy Each Other At Their Conventions. Like At The Democratic Convention John Kerry's Daughter Told A Story About How He Once Gave Cpr To Her Hamster. At The Republican Convention The Bush Girls Are Going To Tell A Story About How When Their Hamster Was Bad, Their Dad Built Them A Little Electric Chair.

President Bush Stopped Off At A Bass Pro Fishing Store To Pick Up A Fishing Reel, Some Line And Some Rubber Worms. He's Going To Disappear And Go Fishing. So He Must Think He's Back In The National Guard.