All Writers Are Vampires.

For Once I'm Not The Guy Losing My Temper All The Time.

I Love Hearing People Laugh.

I Love Doing Theaters, Cracking People Up, Hearing Them Physically Roll In The Aisles. But We Need To Get Serious. These Are Serious Times. No Joke. No Joke.

I Was Voted Best-looking Kid In High School But, As You Can See, Things Changed. I Used To Say I Was A 260-pound Woody Allen. You Can Make That 295-pound Now.

I Just Don't Think I'm That Interesting. I Don't Think What I Have To Say Is That Interesting. To Hear Me Go Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah. I Mean, Who... Cares?