All Of Iraq's Oil Fields Are Under

We Live In What's Called An Open Society, Which Of Course Means They Open Our Emails, Open Our Phone Records, And Open Our Medical Records.

Things Have Really Changed Here In Hollywood. Used To Be People In This Town Couldn't Wait To Get An Envelope Full Of White Powder.

President Bush Got A Little Upset With A Reporter For Calling Him 'sir' Instead Of 'mr. President.' Man, How Upset Is He Going To Be After The Election When They Start Calling Him George Again?

Clinton's Pet Labrador, Buddy, Is Getting Neutered. The Dog Will Never Have Sex Again. Overnight, They've Turned Buddy From A Democrat Into A Republican.

The Difference Between Men And Women Is That Men Love The 3 Stooges, And Women Think They're Assholes.