All I Want To Do Is Be

I Was Watching The Animal Planet. Did You Know That The Male Seahorse Has The Baby? Why Don't They Just Call That One The Female?

My Wife Told Me That In The Bible, Abraham Circumcised Himself... Wow! I Can't Even Get To The Bank Before It Closes.

I Never Have Free Time, I Don't Know About You. You Ever Go To The Cash Machine, There's Two People In Line In Front Of You And You Get Kinda Flustered, You're Like "forget It! I'm Not Standing Here For 40 Seconds. I Got Things To Do, Okay?"

Isn't It Strange -- When You're Single, All You See Is Couples, And When You're Part Of A Couple, All You See Are Hookers.

Some People That Work For Hot Pockets Came To My Denver Paramount Theater Show. They Brought These Hot Pocket Boxes The Size Of Suit Cases For Me To Sign. I Wrote "these Are Wmd's" On The Boxes. The Hp People Seem To Have A Good Sense Of Humor About All Of It.