All I Want To Do Is Be

There Were Times In My Life When I Had One Thing To Do All Day, But I Still Couldn’t Get To It. “i Gotta Go To The Post Office, But I’d Probably Have To Put On Pants. And They’re Only Open Till Five. Looks Like I’m Going To Have To Do That Next Week.

I Was Still Rooting For Notre Dame.it's Like There's The Cultural Catholic Experience.

I Left The Midwest Thinking I Didn't Fit In. But When I Got To New York, I Realized How Truly Midwestern I Was.

For Me, Stand-up Comedy Is A Conversation Between Me And The Audience. I Have To Keep Them Listening. When I'm Making Jokes About Cake For Twenty Minutes, I Have To Make Sure My Audience Is Interested And Following Where I'm Going.

I Recently Bought Extreme Chunky Peanut Butter. I Opened It Up.. .it Was Just Peanuts. Wow That Is Extreme!