All I Want To Do Is Be

I Was Looking At A Bottle Of Water; They Have Nutritional Facts Printed On The Side. You Know, I'm No Chemist, But I Have A Rough Idea What's In Water.

Weight Watchers Says Nothing Tastes Better Than Thin Feels. I Can Think Of A Thousand Things That Taste Better Than Thin Feels.

We Wrote About Having Five Kids And Bringing Them To Church. A Journalist At The Washington Post Wrote This Article Where The Headline Was "the New Catholic Evangelism Of Jim Gaffigan." And It Was A Bit Terrifying.

When You Hear Bacon Cooking....that Sizzling Sound Isn't The Fat Cooking....that's Applause.

I Grew Up 45 Minutes Outside Of Chicago.