All I Ask Is That You Tip

Martha Stewart Was Found Guilty On All Charges. You Know What That Means, Stripes Are In This Year.

Mcdonald's Announced That It's Considering A More Humane Way Of Slaughtering Its Animals. You Know They Fatten Them Up And Then Kill Them. You Know The Same Thing They Do To Their Customers, Isn't It?

According To The Latest L.a. Times Poll, 75% Of Californians Believe The Country Is Headed In The Wrong Direction. And 60% Of Californians Are So Disillusioned, They're Thinking About Moving Back To Mexico.

They Say There Are Something Like 12 Million Illegal Immigrants In The Country Right Now, With Another Half A Million Coming Every Year. Remember In The Last Election When The Democrats Claimed There Was Two Americas? Turns Out One Of Them Was Mexico.

Jesse Jackson Was Involved In A Three-car Crash This Weekend. I Understand That No One Was Hurt, But I Understand That Two Of The Women In The Other Cars Are Now Pregnant.