All Comedians Are Preoccupied With One Thing

George W. Said He Doesn't Watch Television. And, Of Course, Well - The Reason For That Is The Clintons Stole The White House Satellite System.

The Candidates At The Republican Debate Looked Like A Town Council That Was Outlawing Dancing. They Looked Like A Board Of Directors That Was Lying About Poisoning A River.

There's Some Kind Of A Thing Where When She Was Secretary Of State She Was Using Her Own E-mail Instead Of The State Department, And I Thought Finally, A Clinton Scandal The Entire Family Can Enjoy.

A Lot Of Issues Were On The Ballots. In New York City There Was Proposition 14. That Would Put A Ceiling On The Number Of Late-night Talk Shows. And California Passed Proposition 21. That Would Change Guacamole Officially To Guac.

Reasons Why Members Of Congress Deserve A Pay Raise: Many Big Corporations Are Cutting Back On Bribes; Nearly Half The Members Have Never Been Indicted.