Agoraphobia Was My Quirky Armor Against A

Any Hope That America Would Finally Grow Up Vanished With The Rise Of Fundamentalist Christianity. Fundamentalism, With Its Born-again Regression, Its Pink-and-gold Concept Of Heaven, Its Literal-mindedness, Its Rambunctious Good Cheer... Its Anti-intellectualism... Its Puerile Hymns... And Its Faith-healing... Are Made To Order For King Kid America.

The Proliferation Of Support Groups Suggests To Me That Too Many Americans Are Growing Up In Homes That Do Not Contain A Grandmother. A Home Without A Grandmother Is Like An Egg Without Salt.... The Emotionally Satisfying Discussions That Take Place In Chronic Pain Outreach And Depression Resources Are Simply Updated Versions Of The Grandmotherly Practice Of Hanging Crepe. We Could Eliminate Much Of The Isolation That Support Groups Exist To Fill And Save The "traditional Family" That Everybody Is So Worried About If More Couples Took Their Aging Parents To Live With Them.

Misanthropes Have Some Admirable If Paradoxical Virtues. It Is No Exaggeration To Say That We Are Among The Nicest People You Are Likely To Meet. Because Good Manners Build Sturdy Walls, Our Distaste For Intimacy Makes Us Exceedingly Cordial "ships That Pass In The Night." As Long As You Remain A Stranger We Will Be Your Friend Forever.

There Is Much To Be Said For Post-menopausal Celibacy. Sex Is Rough On Loners Because You Have To Have Somebody Else Around, But Now I Don't. No More Diets To Stay Slim And Desirable: I've Had Sex And I've Had Food, And I'd Rather Eat.

Owning Your Own Home Is America's Unique Recipe For Avoiding Revolution And Promoting Pseudo-equality At The Same Time. To Keep Citizens Puttering In Their Yards Instead Of Sputtering On The Barricades, The Government Has Gladly Deprived Itself Of Billions In Tax Revenues By Letting Home Owners Deduct Mortgage Interest Payments.