According To A Survey In This Week's

Riding A Ducati Is Like Having Sex With An Aerobics Instructor - You Know, I'm Exhausted And Panting And It's Going: 'are You Done, Already?'

A Survey Released Today Found That Men Spend Twice As Much On Their Mistresses For Christmas As They Do On Their Wives. On The Other Hand, Men Spend Half Their Income On The Wives When The Wife Finds Out About The Mistress. So It All Balances Out.

Senator Kerry Recovering Very Nicely After Having Shoulder Surgery. The Doctors Said The Senator Was Fully Awake, Lucid And Joking After The Surgery Was Done, But Cautioned That That Was Just The Drug. He Went Back To His Boring Self Soon Afterward.

50% Of Americas Population Spends Less Than 10 Dollars A Month On Romance. You Know What We Call These People? Men!

Dean Is A Doctor But He Acts More Like A Postal Worker!