A Woman Is Like Beer. They Look

People Go Into Cartooning Because They're Shy And They're Angry. That's When You're Sitting In The Back Of A Classroom Drawing The Teacher.

God Often Gives Nuts To Toothless People.

The Conundrum That I Face On A Daily Basis Is That I Have Two Sons Who Have Grown Up Watching 'the Simpsons,' So They Know Exactly What Buttons To Push. They Know How Bart Irritates Homer, And They Use These Lines Against Me To Tell Me That I'm Not Funny Anymore.

How Is Education Supposed To Make Me Feel Smarter? Besides, Every Time I Learn Something New, It Pushes Some Old Stuff Out Of My Brain. Remember When I Took That Home Winemaking Course, And I Forgot How To Drive?

You Know, I've Been Thinking. Everyone Makes Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwiches But Usually The Jelly Drips Out All Over The Side And The Guy's Hands Get All Sticky. But Your Jelly Stays Right In The Middle Where It's Supposed To. I Don't Know How You Do It? You Just Got A Gift, I Guess. I've Always Thought So. I've Just Never Mentioned It. But It's Time You Knew How I Feel. I Don't Believe In Keeping Feelings Bottled Up. Goodbye, My Wife.