A Man Should Dress In A Way

By The Time The Oscars Are On I'll Be Seventy. How Many More Chances Am I Going To Have To Get Nominated For An Oscar?

I Enjoy Making People Laugh. The Trick Is To Tell Them Jokes Against Yourself. If You Praise Yourself, Your Stories Aren't Funny.

I Never Regret Anything. I Always Said That When I'm Old, I Want To Be Sitting There Regretting The Things That I Did And Not The Things That I Didn't Do; And Now I'm Old, And I Don't Regret Anything! I Had Fun. I Had Fun, And I'm Still Having It.

Movie Acting Is About Covering The Machinery. Stage Acting Is About Exposing The Machinery. In Cinema, You Should Think The Actor Is Playing Himself, If He's That Good. It Looks Very Easy. It Should. But It's Not, I Assure You.

I've Been Acting A Long Time, And I Can Play A Cockney Gangster Or A Womanizer In My Sleep Or Standing On My Head. But What I Try To Do Is I Try To Find Characters That Are As Far Away From Me As I Possibly Can And Then Make Them Real. A French Nazi Is About As Far Away From Me As I Can Possibly Get Without Actually Going To Mars Or Something.