A Lot Of Our Writers, Like Conan

Everybody Doesn't Have To Get Every Joke. People Really Appreciate Not Being Condescended To.

Masturbation Is Nothing To Be Ashamed Of. It's Nothing To Be Particularly Proud Of, Either.

If People Only Knew How Much I Secretly Hated Them, They'd Love Me For Holding It In.

It's Not Easy To Juggle A Pregnant Wife And A Troubled Child, But Somehow I Managed To Fit In Eight Hours Of Tv A Day.

You Know Boys, A Nuclear Reactor Is A Lot Like Women. You Just Have To Read The Manual And Press The Right Button.