A Christian Will Say... "i Believe God

'where's Bill Going?' He's Going To Comedy Death. Boom! He Pops Out Of It With Another Joke. It's My Particular Style.

Truly, The Only Stupid People I've Ever Met, The Most Absolutely Clueless, Are The Very People That Produce Television.

I Got This Big Fear Of Doing Smoking Jokes In My Act And Showing Up Five Years From Now Goin' [puts Mic To His Neck And Speaks As If He Had A Mechanical Larynx] 'good Evening Everybody, Remember Me, Smoking's Bad. [puts Cigarette To Neck And Mimics Smoking It] Eeww. You Ever Seen Somebody Do That? I've Seen Someone Do That. Let Me Tell You Something — If You're Smoking Out Of A Hole In Your Neck [mimics It Again] I'd Think About Quitting. And That's Just Me, Ya Know.

Sometimes My Dad Even Gets On This Kick--'you Hate This Country'....i Have To Tell Him...i Just Hate Being Lied To.

You're Not A Human Till You're In My Phone Book. There. My Hat Is Now In The Political Ring.